It Finally Happened

It Finally Happened

Wow I haven’t been on here in what feels like forever.  I guess nothing all that interesting happened until last night.

After two long months without a kiss the Italian Gentleman FINALLY got up the nerve to kiss me and he did it in the cutest way possible.  The night started off on a double date with one of his married couple friends.  We met at a park for a free Lukas Graham concert- which was great by the way.  We were in the middle of a heat wave so to stay cool I had brought a spray bottle.  The night was spent teasing each other and sneak attack spraying each other.  It was all very cute.  He drove me home, walked me to the door, and, like always, gave me a peck on the cheek and said goodnight.

I was mentally preparing how to bring up this awkward conversation.  I mean we’re at just about two months here.  Two out of the three relationships I have been in would have already ended- and after a month of sex I might add- and I haven’t even gotten a kiss yet!  We were in the friend zone? Was he not looking for a relationship? Is he not attracted to me? Is he just so incredibly nervous he couldn’t close the deal?  I have no idea and luckily I don’t have to find out.  He texted me to say he forgot to pay me for the subway series game I had purchased tickets for the day before and that he was coming back to give me the money.  I told him he was being ridiculous and could just give me the money the next time he saw me.  He would not take no for an answer and told me he was already around the block.  I went outside, got the money, and said goodnight for the second time.  Before I could head for the door he said “That’s not the only reason I came back.”  As I turned to face him he grabbed my arm, said “I think it’s time,” and kissed me.  Of course I responded with “took you long enough.”  I wasn’t letting him get away with it that easily.

All in all it was a very perfect night.  I am excitedly nervous to see what this relationship has in store for us.  Thankfully a lot more kissing 🙂

Goodbye My Friend

Goodbye My Friend

A week ago I had one of the hardest days of my life- coming off the last few months that were the hardest I have been through.  I had to say goodbye to my best friend of the last 14 years, my dog, Bliss.

The day started off like any other.  I was hanging out in my room planning out how the day would go.  I was already being super productive- not like me on a day off.  Ready for a break, I went downstairs to see if my mom wanted to head over to my brother’s baseball game.  I found her at the computer, anxiety written all over her face.  For almost a year Bliss had been slowly becoming paralyzed from her hind legs up her spine.  It really got bad in the last few weeks as she could hardly hold herself up.  We had been preparing ourselves for the inevitable decision that would have to be made- we just didn’t realize when we went to bed the night before that the time would come the next morning.  To spare the details, she had woken up in a condition that forced our hand- we no longer had a choice.

At first I was numb to what was happening.  My mom had told me we had a problem and for a while I guess I was just thinking that the problem would be solved and I would still have my best friend- if only for a little while longer.  As the reality set in tears welled in my eyes- once released I couldn’t stop them for almost two days.  I went back upstairs to prepare myself to take her on her last ride. My mom couldn’t bring herself to go and who could blame her.  I couldn’t let my dad take her by himself and I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I had abandoned Bliss in her last moments of life when she had been there for me everyday for half of mine.  I held her close on the ride to vet and pet her as she went to sleep.  It was so hard to see my dad crying over her with me.  I had asked her to please hold on until my dad was in the clear of his medial issues and I will be forever grateful that she did- there for me to the very end.  My only comfort is knowing she is no longer in any pain and can once again run around like she was meant to.

I still remember the first time I met her.  She was so small she fit in the palm of my hand as she played with my thumb.  I instantly fell in love her with and the white patch on the back of her head that set her apart from her siblings.  The runt of the litter she was special then, and special always.  So special, in fact, that we weren’t even sure the breeder was going to give her to us.  Thank god she did.  Bliss was a source of constant love and affection for half of my life.  She always said hello when I came home, and when she couldn’t walk to the door to great me, I made sure I said hi to her instead.  On weekends when I felt most alone, she was always there to spend time with me.  She was the best snuggle buddy, and the comic relief I needed when times were tough.  I will always remember how she would run into the kitchen at the first sound of any kind of food.  Whether is was the cabinet closing, a bag opening, food being put in her bowl, you could always count on her to sprint to your side.  How in her 14 years of life she never got used to people going up and down the stairs or going in the pool and would alert us by barking- every. single. time.  How whenever she got excited she would sprint into the den full speed and run laps around the coffee table, sometimes even falling on her face.  How even when my siblings and I would play fight she was always there to break it up- most times barking at the victim instead of the attacker.  How she maybe had a little ADD and would abandon a game of fetch or tug-o-war at the slightest sound.  How she would refuse to let anyone sit out of a game of monkey in the middle.  How she would constantly put herself in the way of a game of wiffle ball just wanting in on the action and often stealing the ball- she never did quite grasp the concept of fetch.  How she loved the  snow, and loved to sun bathe. And a million other countless things, I will remember her always.

It has been a week since our last goodbye and I still find myself looking towards her favorite spot out of habit.  When I come down the stairs I automatically turn my head to look for her smiling face.  My heart is still completely broken and I still have tears to shed for her- I don’t know if they will ever run out.

I love you to the moon and back Blissy Girl and am missing you like crazy.  I hope that you are at peace and are enjoying your back legs once again.  Please look over us now like you always did in life until we meet again.  I will never forget you.  Rest in peace.

My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

On Wednesday I felt like I was living my own version of Alexander’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  Though my annoyances may not have been as wild or crazy as his they were enough to put me on edge. Let’s walk through the day.

My day actually started off great! It was the first day that I didn’t have to wake up to a 5:15 alarm- only teachers can know the true joy of turning that early alarm off.  I took my time getting out of bed and getting ready for a retirement breakfast for one of my coworkers.  The word coworker doesn’t really do her justice though.  For the last few years this woman has served as my work mom.  Though I am so sad to see her go I was so happy to celebrate her career with my department one last time before summer.  I left just in time to be a few minutes late.  It was a beautiful day and I was looking forward to lounging on the beach after breakfast.  I was waiting behind a car at a stop sign, the car went, I inched forward, waited for a car to pass, then I went, andddd bumped right into the first car.  See apparently the first car saw that same car coming down the block as I did and decided last minute that they weren’t going to make it.  It was totally fine, no damage to either car.  The guy didn’t even let me apologize.  The was number one.

I went home and got ready for the beach.  My favorite beach is right off of a highway and I need to use a turnaround to get to it.  We all this turn around there is, apparently, a pot hole where the two slabs of concrete making up the road meet.  I hit it.  I hit is at the exact right, or should I say the exact wrong, spot.  I heard a boom and thought my bumper had hit the floor.  I pulled into the parking lot, parked, and walked the front of my car.  The bumper was fine.  Weird considering the noise I heard so let me keep walking.  Ah, there is it.  The source of the noise and the difficult driving.  The hole at ripped a hole right in my tire!  Needless to say it went flat to the ground.  Now I have had many a flat tire. My last car seemed to get a flat every week.  I know how to change them but I am not strong enough to loosen the nuts.  Pathetic I know, but true nonetheless. Now some of you may remember that my knight in shinning armor, my dad, has recently had major surgery.  I did not want him doing any heavy lifting while helping me so I thought I would call my cousin to see if he could come to my rescue.  I don’t know why I thought to check, but I looked in my trunk to make sure I had everything I needed to change the tire.  Now this new car hasn’t gotten a flat yet so there was no reason for me to have gone in there.  When I opened the compartment where the tire should be it wasn’t.  The tire wasn’t.  The jack wasn’t.  Basically all I had was a useless screw driver and a pump to refill tires that can at least hold air.  Perfect. So I caved and called my dad.  He didn’t want me to call AAA because he wasn’t sure they would tow me to a place close to us.  He made some calls and found someone with a tire he could lend and the equipment we needed. Awesome.  It was going to take a little while for him to get to me so I went to sit on the beach.

Now though the annoyances that happened on the beach weren’t nearly as dramatic as my car troubles they were icing on the cake of this terrible day.  First as soon as I sat down the sun went behind the clouds.  Then I hear an overly dramatic teenager screaming about how she is too scared to climb off the life guard stand- it was one of my students.  When I look to my other side one of my male students is sitting right next to me.  I HATE seeing students on the beach- talking to them in a bikini is just awkward.  He was too close not to say hi so we had a 30 second conversation and he walked away with his friends.  On my way back to my car I stopped at the bathroom.  As I reached for the paper I realized it was empty and there was no one on either side of me.  I had to just laugh at this point.

So my dad made it, tire and jack in hand.  He popped the hub cap off only to curse at the fact that one of the nuts looked nothing like the others.  It was a locked nut.  Thankfully the key was in my glove compartment so that panic was short lived.  As I was taking the rest off he curses again.  What this time?  There were five bolts on my car.  The tire his friend lent him had four.  No way that was going to work.  Thankfully my dad had another spare in his car.  Though it was a little smaller than all my other tires it got the job done.  Slowly but surely I drove home and right to the repair shop.

I wish I could tell you I learned something valuable on this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  That even when things seem to be going horribly wrong that the strangers around you step up to help and you are reminded of the good in the world.  That when you feel stranded and alone that world proves to you that you aren’t.  I learned neither of these things.  I guess you could say that I learned I am still completely dependent on my father- though I already knew that.  So how about that I am super thankful that he is on the road to recovery and isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.  Yeah, that sounds good to me.

p.s.  I apologize for this ridiculously long post.  I applaud those who made it to the end!  Thanks for reading!

Date three and four

Date three and four

Things are still going well with… I haven’t called him anything yet have I?  Let’s call him the Italian Gentleman.  For our third date we went out for a round of mini golf and dessert.  He had been bragging about beating his friends at golf so I figured I would give him the opportunity to show all a little bit… I won 🙂  We headed over to red mango but his siblings were in the parking lot.  He didn’t want to run into them- totally understandable considering the fact that if I saw any of my family members I probably would have driven right out of the parking lot- so we sat in the car until we knew we wouldn’t cross paths.  As we walked up to the door at red mango the manager closed it and locked it right in our faces!  He looked like he genuinely felt bad for closing, a few minutes early I might add, but did it nonetheless. We ended up eating at Applebees so it all worked out.  This was probably my favorite date of ours so far.  It was this first time we both seemed to loosen up a bit and really had a good time.  He even brought me flowers.  How cute is that?!  Still no kiss though…

We went to the beach before Father’s Day festivities on Sunday.  It was the most perfect beach day.  He was super sunburn from the day before so sat with a towel draped over his legs.  Just another opportunity for me to tease him.  It was another lovely date for the books and one I didn’t want to end.  I am starting to really like him despite the fact that even after this date he did not kiss me.  Help me out here girls.. what do I do?!  I am seeing him again tonight so maybe things will change.  I am too shy to make the first move but I might just have to bite the bullet.

That’s all I have to report! Happy blogging

It’s only up from here!

It’s only up from here!

Life seems to have a natural ebb and flow, times of peaks and valleys.  Over the last few months it seemed like many aspects of my life were stuck in a deep valley.  My leave replacement ended, I hadn’t been on date in almost a year, and to top it all off- my Dad’s cancer diagnosis.  Luckily all things have slowly but surely been making the turn to climb the peak.

Let’s start with my Dad.  This is not to say that he is cured and completely out of the woods and acting like his normal self.  Of course he has had set backs.  His incision is open and bleeds everyday, but the surgeon is not concerned- just something he has to deal with and it will eventually heal like a deep cut would.  He is slowly getting his energy back and is in good spirits.  Of course there is the fact that two more of his siblings have been diagnosed (that’s 4 out of 9) but we are thankful they were proactive and got checked- all they need is the surgery.

Job stuff.  I got offered a part time position in an excellent school district- basically my dream job.  I know it’s only part time but I am beyond excited for this opportunity.  Basically the decision I have to make over these next two months is whether to try for a full time job in a district that is not as good and will not pay me as lunch in the long run OR take the part time job with the hope that it will turn into a full time job in the near future.  Decisions, decisions. But hey, it’s a decision that I am more than willing to make considering either choice leads me to a career as a teacher instead of a sub!

And of course the boy.  We went on our second date early last week.  Dinner and a movie.  It was again a nice evening.  I was so nervous the entire time about the goodbye.  In my experience second dates end in the first kiss.  I was holding back anxiety attacks during the whole movie every time I thought he might be reaching for my hand or just thinking about the goodbye.  Well it came and it went and no kiss.  Very disappointing and a little embarrassing considering the fact that I leaned in as if giving him the green light only to have him turn a cheek.  Of course the over analytical math teacher in my overthought the situation and came to the conclusion that he obviously just wasn’t interested.  Thankfully I was wrong and we are still texting on a daily basis.  Maybe he is just taking his time.  Nothing wrong with that but like I said- haven’t been on a date in almost a year- haven’t been in a relationship in almost two- I am in desperate need of.. the kiss.

Positive thoughts, positive energy, all good things to come!

First time in nine months..

First time in nine months..

I went on a date for the first time in nine months!!! I know- that is a long long time.  I had rejoined match after a hiatus to find something a little more serious that you might find on a free site. After paying over $100 for a six month subscription I met a guy who: lives in my town, went to my high school, graduated one year before me, and who I have mutual friends with.  So basically for over $100 match introduced me to someone who I could have and may have met on my own eventually.  Or maybe it introduced me to someone who I missed my opportunity to meet- guess it depends on you mood for the day.

In any case I am glad I met him.  We went to the beach (so much for doing my hair) and listened to music.  We have a lot in common that I am excited about.  He is a nice guy and comes from a good family.  Actually- he knows half of my family and our Dad’s know each other- a little awkward for me at first but whatever.  It was a pretty normal date- nothing too much to report.  I wish for your sake that I had an embarrassing or funny story to share about my first on-line date in forever but luckily for me I didn’t get any.  There were, of course, a few awkward silences but I am just hoping that those were due to first date nerves.  I will definitely see him again and see where things end up.

My Dad had his follow up appointment today.  He got his staples taken out and went over the oncology report.  Everything came back normal! YAY! The only issue now is a little hematoma that he has right under his incision- but that should be reabsorbed back into his body.  Next appointment is in a month for follow up scans but for now he is cancer free! Thank you again for reading and praying for him.


Day 21…

Day 21…

Thank you, thank you, thank you!  For all who read, all who sent a positive thought, or said a prayer, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Dad’s surgery was a success.  There were no complications and nothing around the tumor looked suspicious.  He is now on the road to recovery.  They took some lymph nodes to test, just to be safe, but all looks good so far 🙂

I went to visit the day after surgery.  He was awake that morning, sitting in a chair, visiting with a few of his sisters.  By the time I got there he was spent.  His epidural, that was blocking a nerve to control his pain, had fallen out so he needed to play catch up with a new pain medication.  For the majority of the time I was there he was in and out of sleep and moaning in pain.  As hard as it was to see him like that I know that the pain he is in now is only a sign of good things to come!  Once in a while he would open his eyes and say something that only my Dad would, letting us know he was hearing everything we were saying even though he couldn’t respond all the time.  Sometimes he would just open his eyes to look around, sometimes awkwardly staring at someone.  It was almost childlike the way he would look at you, as if he was studying you, trying to figure out what you were saying.  We just constantly assured him that it was ok if he slept- we didn’t need him to entertain us.

Yesterday was day two post surgery.  He didn’t have such a good day.  Still in quite a bit of pain and unable to eat.  His insides need to start working the way they are supposed to before he is allowed to eat.  For now it is broth and ices for him.  Poor guy.  My mom said he got sick a few times- normal after all he went through- and they started him an nausea medication on top of his pain meds.  Hopefully that will help and in a few more days he can come home!

Dad and I last Father’s Day


And just because my family was not able to go 24 hours without some kind of emergency…

The day after my dad’s surgery my grandparents were supposed to drive my brother and I into the city for our visit.   As I was getting ready for an interview I had that morning my phone rings- it was my grandma from her cell phone, which she never uses.  My grandpa had fallen, right on his face, and had a cut above his eye that required stitches.  She was waiting for an ambulance when she called- seriously?  But wait it gets better.  So we figured he would get an x-ray and maybe a CAT scan to make sure everything was ok in his head.  The next phone call came after the x-ray.  Grandpa was going to be released- YAY!- to go to the cardiologist- BOO!- because he might need surgery- ARE YOU KIDDING?!  He has a slight fracture on the bottom of his eye socket.  The fear is that the fracture may get worse or a piece may even break off and go into his eye.  Sooo he may need an orthopedic surgeon to go in there and fix is.  Awesome.

I guess sometimes in life you just go through periods where is seems everything goes wrong.  My aunt keeps saying we’re being tested- this is just a test period and it has to end at some point.  Please, please let this be the point!  I don’t know how much of this we can take.  My poor grandma, who has the worst anxiety of our family, is  pretty much at her wits end.  I keep thinking ahead to the summer when we are all happy and healthy and celebrating together.  I cannot wait for that day!